The year of the “Chick Blitz” (Hollywood discovers women in their forties)

According to Samantha Critchell of the Associated Press, 2010 is a “new day” for women in their forties. “Women are where they are in the entertainment world, and we’re talking about ‘women’, not ‘girls’ for the most part. Forty-something women, especially Sandra Bullock, had a banner year in 2009, and expect their influence to continue,” Critchell wrote.

She quotes Bonnie Fuller, editor-in-chief of HollywoodLife.com, who believes, “There’s a change in attitude. There’s a total girl blitz in general.” Fuller believes that Hollywood executives will take notice of the success of actresses like Julianna Margulies, Jennifer Aniston, Kyra Sedgwick, Courteney Cox and their peers, and develop movies and TV shows that cast them in roles featuring evolving, desirable sexy characters who they don’t hide. of her age.

To which I say, almost in unison: “Hell yeah!” and “Are you kidding me?” I’m having one of those two-sided conversations with myself about what this endorsement really means. On the one hand, I applaud the long overdue recognition by Hollywood and the youth-obsessed media that there really is life for women over forty. Not a life of slow and inevitable decay like the winding of a clock, but a life full of possibilities. I applaud the recognition, albeit late in coming, that beauty is not the province of the chronologically gifted (ie young), but something that belongs to all women, regardless of age.

On the other hand, I want to do something a lot less fancy with my hands than clap (imagine something other than the thumbs-up gesture that used to get my youngest son routinely punished, if you catch my drift). When Hollywood gives those of us on the other side of our forties a high-five, it feels like we’re being thrown a bone and we should feel grateful, like we’re a fad, or flavor of the month instead of complex, wonderful, multi-faceted creatures that we are, and always have been.

Having the “blessing” of Hollywood and the media doesn’t sit well with me. I mean, “Who cares?” what men in suits think in a city known for its blatant superficiality about what constitutes bling. And while I’m a firm believer that life after forty for women doesn’t mean a life without sex, or sexual allure, I chafe at the idea of ​​stereotyping middle-aged women as “desirable sexy characters who don’t hide from your age”. I’d be happier if the mentality was just “they don’t hide from their age” and leave sex out of it altogether. Anytime Hollywood throws sex into the equation, it’s an immediate red flag for me; a cynical but time-tested truism that the multidimensional forty-something woman will suddenly become rather one-dimensional in the hands of film and media.

However, I wholeheartedly applaud Meryl Streep, Julianna Marguiles, and over forty other actresses who refuse to play by the rules. After all, who made the rules anyway? I applaud the women I interviewed for my upcoming book on women in midlife. I applaud my friends, peers, and family members of the female persuasion who are aging with grace and pride. They do not hide their age. They don’t display a neon sign showing their age. Your age is irrelevant. They are too busy charting their path, and often it is a whole new path that they have derailed themselves because there are so few role models leading the way for them.

While I congratulate these mavericks on their pioneering ways, it’s a myth and a disservice to paint women in their forties as having all the answers. I hope Hollywood errs on the side of caution in its evolving characterizations of women in middle age. Life is messy. Life is complicated. Middle-aged women continue to struggle with career, family, health, and wealth issues. These are adult children leaving the nest; with small children still in the fold. They are reaching the pinnacle of their careers or their plateaus, and they are thinking about what comes next. Some women face health problems: cancer, heart disease, menopause, unexpected death. Some are discovering long-dormant dreams and talents, others are shedding self-limiting beliefs that have haunted them for decades. Divorced. remarried Not attached. Forty-something women are no strangers to life’s ups and downs.

Life doesn’t change on the other side of forty. What does change, perhaps, is how we deal with this ebb and flow in the second half of life. There is something to be said for longevity; by experience; for appearing again and again that allows us to shake off the trials and tribulations that rain down on us each day. Middle-aged women don’t have all the answers: what we do have is enough seniority to know we don’t need them to shine.

So I raise a toast to my over forty sisters celebrating the year of “girl blitz,” but do it on their terms. Keep kidding; Keep redefining and pushing the boundaries of what it means to be a midlife woman, and I’ll be right there with you. Hello!