The myth of a Christian soulmate
Posted On April 13, 2022
Slogans are part of everyday society. They become hugely popular, they ride a wave of cultural phenomenon, which seems to disappear as fast as they came.
But there is a term that was introduced years ago and has not yet disappeared from the vocabulary, even in Christian dating circles. Whenever there is a conversation about relationships, it always seems to come from somewhere.
That term is “soul mate.”
Read romance novels. Listen to popular love songs. Watch movies on Lifetime TV, and chances are “soulmate” will be pronounced in some way, shape or form.
In fact, entire stories have sprung from the idea of a soulmate. Did you ever see “Sleepless in Seattle”? You get the picture.
But I’m here to tell you something that may not be popular, but I sincerely believe to be the truth:
There is no such thing as a soulmate.
Now, before you run out of breath and walk away from your computer, consider the premise of “Sleepless in Seattle.”
A perfectly happy woman, engaged to a man she loves, spends most of her time lamenting the fact that she has lost someone better. Of course, we’re led to believe that her true “soul mate” lives 3,000 miles away and she doesn’t know her from Adam. However, her fate must have its way, and incredible circumstances lead to the climactic scene atop the Empire State Building, where the two strangers look at each other and instantly know they will be together forever. Fade to black, roll of credits…
…and give me a barf bag!
Don’t get me wrong, I can enjoy a chick flick from time to time. But accepting the soulmate theory goes completely against what God wants for us in a relationship.
For example, my wife and I believe 100% that God brought us together. I am completely and totally in love with my wife.
Does that mean I could never love another? No. I could fall in love with someone else if I wanted to. It could crush everything we’ve built and separate me from my family.
But I CHOOSE not to.
And that’s the key. True love is not some fiddles and bluebirds nonsense at first sight. It’s a choice. Plain and simple.
Fate has not predestined our lives, God has. But he has also given us free will in this matter. Just as we choose between serving God or serving ourselves, we also choose to love someone or not.
But according to popular culture and the media, you don’t have a choice. You must search for your only soul mate. Let yourself be carried away by romance. Don’t worry about the real world.
And that’s what gets a lot of people in trouble. They begin to believe the exaggeration instead of believing the Truth. Before you know it, they’re ditching a perfectly healthy relationship for a fantasy. In fact, it is my personal belief that a major factor in the demise of traditional family values is the proliferation of anti-Christian ideas, such as soul mate, through the media.
If I buy the notion of a soul mate, then I believe that fate has predestined only one person for me. Only one. Anyone else would obviously make me unhappy and dissatisfied. After all, it’s already been explained to me. I do not have any other option.
What if I lose my wife tragically? I would hope that the Lord would bring me someone to marry again eventually, but if Ronda was my “soul mate”, then what would that become in my second wife: “soul mate part 2”?
Do you see what I mean here?
God has a perfect match for you and will help you find it. But He cannot make you love them. That depends on you.
For example, we have friends who spent their lives on the mission field. The wife will tell you flatly that she did not love her husband when she married him. But she knew that God wanted them to be together, so she grew to love him over the years and never looked back.
Now THAT is faith!
Do yourself a favor: turn off the tube. Throw away those junk novels. Stop listening to those cheesy love songs and dig into the Word! Jesus said: “I am the Way, the Truth and the Life”. He had a plan for me and he has a plan for you. Talk to Him, listen to Him and He will guide you.
And when you find that special person, you will know that it is not fate that brought you together, but His good and perfect will.
So take Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks!