Curing Alexithymia: How To Develop Your Emotional Literacy

Alexithymia is a condition where you don’t have the words to describe your feelings.

Now, you may be wondering why it is so important. I mean, a lot of people don’t always know what they’re really feeling, and they’re doing it right. So why do I keep talking about this so much?

Big question!

There are some problems that can occur when people are unable to identify or describe their feelings:

• The feeling of ‘loss’ can wreak havoc on your physical and emotional system, leading to all sorts of psychosomatic problems.
• The energy of that feeling doesn’t go away—usually, you’ll channel it into anger, except you won’t really understand what really makes you angry.
• You feel very lonely and disconnected from others, even your nearest and dearest. If you can’t tell others what you’re really experiencing and feeling about things, that often leads to very shallow and unsatisfying relationships.
• You are not comfortable in your own skin, or mental space. Lost feelings are always trying to remind you that they are still there and need to be acknowledged, and that is one of the most unpleasant and uncomfortable feelings in the world.
• You have no idea what message your feelings are trying to give you, about what needs to change in your life to make you feel happier and more content.

So now that you’re convinced it’s something you need to take seriously, how do you fix the problem?

The key is to expand your emotional vocabulary. Once that happens, you will begin to get much more in touch with your authentic self, you will be able to express yourself more clearly, and your relationships will develop a new depth and sense of connection. You’ll also probably stop feeling so angry, frustrated, and ‘stressed’ all the time (people often use the word ‘stressed’ when they can’t describe what emotion they’re really feeling).

Make your own ‘feeling words’ list

Take the following list of words and go to your favorite thesaurus, or thesaurus website, to make your own list of ‘feeling’ words. Be sure to also check out the ‘antonym’ suggestions, to give you more emotional word ideas. You’d be surprised how many terms there are to say ‘not happy’, and if you go ahead and start learning the definitions of the different words on your list, pretty soon you should be enjoying first-class emotional literacy.

• YOU GIVE
• DEPRESSED
• DAMAGED
• UNCOMFORTABLE
• BORED
• HURTFUL
• VULNERABLE
• HUGS
• GUILTY
• ONLY
• LOST
• CONFUSED
• SHOCKED
• NEGATIVE
• TIRED
• SCARED
• ANXIOUS
• HURT
• VICTIMIZED
• INAPPROPRIATE
• HELPLESS
• INDIFFERENT
• HAPPY
• OPEN
• ALIVE
• GOOD
• AFFECTIONATE
• INTERESTED
• STRONG
• POSITIVE
• ACCEPTABLE
• CARE ABOUT
• GRATEFUL
• ELEGANT
• AFFECTIONATE
• RELAXED
• ATTRACTIVE