BEING NICE doesn’t always mean BEING NICE

Standing up and defending what you believe in IS playing well. That is the paradox of the PLAY NICE system on which I base my training and conflict resolution. We need to be assertive in order to balance our needs with the needs of others, and we don’t have to hurt or hurt people, places, or things in doing so.

With the recent global #BlackLivesMatter protests, we see millions upon thousands of people standing up and speaking out about the change they want. It is amazing to see the passion and action that people are taking all over the world to create change for unity and radiate racism.

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world” is one of the most famous quotes from Mahatma Gandhi.

Imagine that you see your son hitting his brother and, to correct his behavior, you punish him by hitting him while saying the words “we don’t hit.” That is not a peaceful approach, and it sets a bad example. I am guilty of making this mistake. There was a day that I hit my son, and I have never forgotten how much I learned about myself in that moment. I was also beaten as a child, once or twice (well, maybe three times) when my parents were correcting my behavior. When I felt compelled to correct my son’s behavior some thirty years later, I went back to previous programming and slapped one child for hitting the other child. If he had used Mahatma Gandhi’s approach, he would have done something more peaceful to correct the situation. This was a very important lesson for me as a parent, and it applies to the conflict in the workplace and the current protest conflict that we are seeing.

Peaceful protests can be very effective because they can heal everyone.

Mother Teresa said: “If you’re holding an anti-war rally, I won’t come, but if you’re holding a peace rally, invite me.“

The law of attraction says that what we think, we produce; we attract a coincidence with what we are feeling. The challenge is that when we use peace to seek peace, it is less exciting and does not draw the attention of the ‘bad news’ pipeline, however it heals from within and does not use ‘enemy’ and therefore there is no enemy to blame, hate or conquer. Healing the victims (ourselves) versus condemning the villains (our enemies) can dissolve the conflict that people have been seeking to resolve for a long time.

I stand up and speak for peace, and I would like to invite people to consider being the change they would like to see, doing what they would like others to do, and acting as they would like others to do. Act. Resolution is a work in progress, peace may be the longest path to a mutual destiny, and by putting in the effort, we will evolve from previous programming and learn that we can make a better game in whatever sandbox we are defending. talking peacefully and productively towards a better solution for everyone involved.

It’s hard to see conflict and feel like you can’t do anything, but Mahatma Gandhi also said “If you want to change the world, start with yourself.”