When am I going to see you again?

Many people frequently express their anguish at not being able to see their closest family and friends during the global pandemic, and indeed, this lack of contact has caused serious emotional and mental hardship for many people. Students not being able to return home to visit family, grandparents not seeing their newborn grandchildren are just two examples of the overwhelming sense of loss being endured right now.

And there are other relationships that suffer as well, causing a more subtle but significant impact due to the resulting feelings of loneliness and separation. When we are only ‘allowed’ to go out occasionally and then are expected to keep our distance and not interact with others, it means we are missing out on the more informal yet important everyday relationships that reinforce our meaning. of community and belonging.

I remember a restaurant that my parents used to frequent regularly. Dominic ran the bar and whenever he saw my parents arrive, he immediately poured their drinks and waited for them. My parents loved this special treatment and the fact that he noticed and remembered them. His attention made them feel valued and important. That relationship was an important part of the restaurant experience.

We all have similar scenarios. The cafeteria or the sandwich shop where they know our order, the stores and service providers where they remember the small details and treat us well. I remember how I smiled when my usual supermarket cashier expressed his surprise when there were no flowers in that week’s purchases! Being recognized and acknowledged strengthens our connections with others, making us feel noticed, valued, and less alone. It matters little that these people are not friends and we barely know their names. These relationships are part of a very different but important category.

Then there are those people we know well enough to share a few words with, a friend of a friend, a parent from school, someone we pass by at work or recognize at the gym. Usually we would have stopped, said ‘hello’, asked how you were, asked about your vacation. Once again, those soft connections are gone and we’re on our own, rushing out to pick up our weekly groceries or order a coffee to go, if we’re still leaving the house to run those errands.

What about the arena events, the big concerts and sports dates, the networking expos where hundreds or maybe thousands of people congregate together in a shared collective enthusiasm, all cheering on their teams, singing and dancing to their favorite songs? , meeting and exchanging potential business contacts. Once again, that shared connection unites us with strangers who have similar interests. We can smile at each other, dance together, share anecdotes, stories and memories for a while. Connecting with others lifts our spirits. We’ve been a part of that club for a while, and it feels good, which adds to the quality and satisfaction of the overall experience.

Children also learn about relationships from face-to-face contact. Running into a group of children who are playing, learning to share, taking turns, losing, not being picked are all ways children hone their skills to communicate, tune in to body language, figure out what works and what doesn’t.

Today, however, many of our opportunities for friendly interaction have been put on hold indefinitely, only to be replaced by the delivery driver who now calls regularly, the takeout who is familiar with your name and your usual order. , the pre-arranged Zoom meeting. Many of these transactions are now done virtually, with door-to-door ordering and little human contact.

Some new friendships have been made during lockdown. Many people have started their daily exercise at a similar time, perhaps going for a walk, run or bike ride. Meeting the same people may mean that a polite nod and greeting gradually turn into a smile and perhaps a few words of conversation, but these exchanges are often done cautiously, from a distance. We may know very little about whom we are meeting, but the sense of having shared interests in hiking or nature creates a special bond and ensures friendly acknowledgment when we meet.

We may not have realized until now that diversity of relationships is important in life. Not every person we come into contact with has to be hugely relevant in every area of ​​our lives. Many are more whimsical and light connections, specific to certain interests and activities, but all, however, add light and a sense of belonging. A smile, a nod, a few words here or there; losing that is a huge blow to all of us. We hope to see you again before too long.