The best way to break an impasse: one step at a time

In almost all negotiations, an impasse can occur. Deadlocks are simply part of the definition of negotiation. When this happens, we all get that sinking feeling in our stomach: oh, oh, we’re not going to be able to come to an agreement here. In some cases it turns out that we cannot reach an agreement; however, during negotiations not all deadlocks are fatal; sometimes we can solve them. Let’s look at one way you could turn your next deadlock into a deal.

The problem: when the other side wants too much

The reason you find yourself deadlocked during a negotiation is not necessarily due to the negotiating styles or negotiating techniques the other party uses. Instead, a deadlock can come from a variety of sources. One of the causes of deadlocks that I see over and over again is when the other side of the table wants too much.

When the other party insists on something that is too far from where you are willing to go, a gap opens up in the negotiations. If you cannot find a way to close this gap, then an impasse has occurred and there is a very real possibility that you will not be able to reach an agreement with the other party.

What is important to realize in this situation is that both sides of the table still want to reach an agreement. The ultimate goal remains shared by all. It is how to get there that is in question.

The solution: take small steps

The solution to breaking this kind of deadlock is to take things slowly rather than trying to get a big compromise. This method of resolving a deadlock is often called a gradual approach.

When the other party wants something you’re not willing to accept, like a $10 raise on something you’re buying from them, the incremental approach can provide a way for both of you to get what you want. Turning an immediate $10 price increase into a $2/year price increase for 5 years may be something you can live with and still meet the needs of the other side of the table.

The final benefit of the phased approach is that it buys both parties more time. More time to accept and adapt to the new situation. Ultimately, this is how both sides can transform an impasse into an agreement.

What all this means to you

As long as you’re willing to invest the time and energy that principled negotiation requires, you sure don’t want it all to end in a deadlock. Yet too often due to the issues involved, what is being negotiated, and the personalities sitting at the negotiating table, this is what can happen. It doesn’t have to be this way.

If the other party has made a request that is too big a change for you, don’t give up. Instead, start exploring ways that big change can be slowly introduced. A series of small changes may be easier for your side of the table to accept than a single large change.

A negotiator’s job is to find ways to use the negotiation process to reach an agreement with the other party that both parties can live with. Deadlocks should not be viewed as the end of a negotiation, but as a natural part of the problem-solving process. Use this tip the next time you find yourself on the verge of giving up and see if you can come to terms with it after all!