The ability to ask questions

There are numerous benefits to being good at asking questions. Knowing what to ask can easily start conversations. Asking the right questions makes people open up. By collecting the maximum amount of information, we can better assess what is happening, especially if there is a problem. Questioning can guide the directions the conversation takes. It can help highlight missing information, ensure important points are included in the conversation, and can lead to conflict resolution.

Some types of questions are better than others. For example, closed questions result in one word answers. Here are some examples: Do you like your job? Do you like the people you work with? Are there good benefits? How long have you worked here? Asking too many closed-ended questions can make the person feel like they are being interrogated or bombarded and that you are getting limited information.

Open questions ask for much larger amounts of information. It makes the person talk; It makes them open up, relax, and feel that you care. Notice the difference: What are some of the things you really like about your job? What are the advantages of working here over working in another organization? What do you see yourself doing in 5 years? How is your current supervisor different from those you have had in the past?

Why questions can be problematic. Asking “why” tends to make people defensive. Here are some examples: Why were you late this morning? Why didn’t you do your homework on time? Why did you order those supplies instead of what we usually get? The result is excuses, arguments, invented reasons. They may even say, “I don’t know” or blame someone else. And this only takes us backwards as far as progress in resolving any issue at hand. What’s done is done and dwelling on why it happened doesn’t move us towards what needs to be done.

Learn to replace “why” with “what.” “What” is an open question that makes it easy to gather information. Notice the difference: What happened? What is the consequence when that happens? What can you do to prevent this from happening in the future? What do you need from me to help you organize? What are the benefits of these supplies over what we normally receive?”

Avoid asking questions that start with “Have you tried?” First of all, “have you tried” is a closed question. The use of questions like “have you tried” is demeaning to the receiver. Of course they tried but it didn’t work and that’s why they’re here now. Or no, they haven’t tried it because they don’t know how or they fear the results. Replaces “Have you tried?” with “What have you tried?” It’s so simple and it works. It is an open question that facilitates the collection of information.

Copyright ©2009 Gloria Howell