Ten Ways to Build a Relationship with Anyone – Quick!

Establishing a good relationship (having people like us and remembering us fondly) is an invaluable skill. Whether you’re in business, friendship, relationship, sale, or just want to be more loved, relationship building skills can help you achieve your goals. I use some of these skills to develop a quick relationship with my business, advise and advise clients. Remember that the key to building a good relationship is honesty and bringing true love for others into your new relationships. With that in mind, let’s get started:

• Listens – Listening is the ‘king’ of all relationship building skills. EVERYONE loves to be heard! Think about it. How do you feel when someone ignores you or speaks for you? Do you feel connected to these people? NO! Who are the people closest to you too? I highly suspect that they are the people who listen carefully to you and care about your problems and your well-being, right? Listening says, “I am listening because you, and therefore what you have to say, are important.” People’s greatest desire is to be truly heard. Help them achieve this very important goal, and they will like and admire you for it. Practice “conversational generosity”: speak no more than 30% of the time (10-20% is optimal).

• Link interests – opposites WHOSE Attract !!! People like each one for its similarities. So whenever possible, keep an eye on similar interests and be sure to talk about and expand on them. This may take a bit of searching and questioning to discover your interests; okay, people will be glad that you are so interested in them that you ask them various questions about them. Even if you don’t have similar activities, ask them to talk about an area that you find interesting or that you want to explore. For example, my old boss, Mark, loves golf. I have never played, but I have a sincere interest in learning the game, so I asked him to explain a few things to me about the game. He was excited that I was interested and complimented me because I wanted him to be my teacher and valued his advice. Think about the ways you can use this tool.

• Ask for advice – An old Thoreau quote says: “The greatest compliment they ever gave me was when someone asked me what I thought and answered the answer.” Asking for advice is perhaps the most sincere compliment you can pay a person. You also have to humble yourself a bit to ask for advice, and this vulnerability will create a sense of openness and trust between you. People are always happy to give advice and will quickly associate that feeling of happiness with you. Not your friends you go to for advice? How can this person give you advice and not be your friend? Do you see how strong this bond is? People also admire someone who can ask for and accept advice. So few people can do this well, that it has become an admirable trait. Try it and you will see.

• Congratulations and compliments – No, this is NOT “kissing” or being fake, this never works! What we want to do is notice the praiseworthy things that people discuss and bring them up to the person. Notice the difference in the next two answers. Your new friend tells you that he just won an award for helping kids and you say “that’s great!” or “Wow, that’s a great achievement! You must have made a tremendous contribution to the lives of those children, you should be very proud.” What answer would you rather hear? Are both true? Yes! Will an answer have more impact and create a stronger connection? Definitely yes! Noticing and commenting on good people and their special qualities is a great way to live, it’s stylish, and a great way to connect with others.

• Show liking and appreciation – Most people instinctively like the people they like (and vice versa). Many people love each other, but they rarely say. I make sure to tell my friends that I like them and appreciate them; They already know it, but it’s still good to hear it. With people I just met, if I like them, I say things like “It was great meeting you; I love meeting warm and open people”, “I really liked the way you talked about (BLANK)”. “Thank you for making me feel so welcome in your home. I had a great time today. Let’s pick another time to meet up soon.” These are just some examples. Can you think of better ones? A sincere thank you like this supports friendship and strengthens relationships.

• Embrace their values ​​/ beliefs – While listening to the other person speak, look at their values ​​/ beliefs and discuss areas where your values ​​/ beliefs sincerely overlap with theirs. Remember when I said that it is better to speak 30% or less of the time? Take at least half of this time and use it to agree, support, or expand on whatever the other person is talking about. You’ll Never make a friend by disagreeing with them. Let the points you disagree with slip away and step in when you hear something you agree with. By doing this, you will make a friend and at the same time subtly promote the areas you believe in and starve the areas you don’t.

• Enthusiasm – Communication is the transfer of energy / emotion. Everyone seems to love someone with enthusiasm because we all admire him and wish we had more! Enthusiastic people seem to brighten a room with their positive energy, and we want that to spread, we want to be a part of it. When someone is excited about our thoughts and ideas, we immediately feel understood, appreciated, and just plain cool. No one will ever be offended if you get excited about their ideas!

• Match and duplication – Matching and mirroring simply means that we match the approximate characteristics of the other person to help create an alignment with them. Therefore, if they cross their legs, they do the same shortly after. If they tend to speak more slowly, slow down your pace so that you are closer to theirs. If they use some jargon, you can use it later in the conversation. If they are reserved, you will be more reserved. And so on. Remember, we like people who are like us. This is a natural process that most people do unconsciously anyway; now you can know how to do it consciously. It is a very powerful tool because vocal tone / speed and body language account for 93% of communication. This tool will make people feel very comfortable around you and it is a very subtle technique.

• Smile and warmth – The first contact with another person is your face! Make sure you present yourself as warm, friendly, and happy. A smile and a sincere desire for friendship will resonate in your voice and will be shown in your every action. First impressions are powerful; Present the way you want to be remembered – SMILE! Smiling shows that you are happy to see the other person and that you like them. The smile and warmth make others feel good around you; this is a lost skill; use it and you will shine.

• Assistance skills – This simply means that you attend to the needs of the people you are with. Follow the lines of simple good manners, i.e. holding the door for someone, offering them a drink or a chair, taking them out for lunch, immediately shaking hands when you see them, etc. Almost any small courtesy or act of kindness falls into this category. These simple acts say without words that the other person is like, respected and appreciated. (And an action is worth what? That’s right! thousand words!)