syndrome of the desperate

I am writing this article from the point of view of a woman, but if you are a man please simply reverse the genders… the content will still apply.

When we are in a relationship with someone who is weak to our knees and we want to have them in our lives forever, our heart rules.

A heart is not a thinking organ; it is an organ of feeling, and its main purpose is to love. If you have no one to direct your affection to, you will not be happy and you will long to love.

So it’s obvious that when head/logic is left to one side, we are prone to making a lot of mistakes… out of love of course. And the biggest and most common would have to be forgetting ourselves.

However, not so completely (usually our love for our partner is very selfish; we want them to love us, we need to feel that we are loved and we want them to never stop loving us), but we are capable of ‘sacrificing’ so much of our well-being in the name of love.

Suddenly we are not interested in getting together with our friends so often, we very easily forget what we liked to do… we ‘forget’ a lot of things to spend more time with one.

Yes, we are capable of adapting to the extreme!

Not only, but many women have what I call a ‘desperation syndrome’, a tendency to cling.

And I don’t think they do it out of love, but out of other unsatisfied emotions. To keep the man from her (at least that’s what she thinks), a woman will do many inexplicable things to ‘make’ him happy. She obviously doesn’t understand that happiness can’t depend on someone else, she obviously believes that he makes her happy, so she can do the same for him. Her own sacrifices will make love nobler and greater in her own eyes, and if he does not repay with the same amount of devotion, she will try even harder to make up for the lack of hers. .

It often amazes me how women perceive men in general. Even if he is not an object of their affection, they will regard a man with more respect than another woman. Is it because he has something different between his legs?

Although I made many mistakes myself, I could never understand this one.

Where is our feminine solidarity? Where is our self love?

One of mine has an excuse that covers all the masculine shortcomings. If you criticize a guy for whatever reason, he’ll say something like “maybe you’re right, but he’s a man.” And she doesn’t mean that guys are like that in general, but rather: he’s allowed and it’s okay because he’s a man!

Many women with this type of attitude send all the wrong signals or body language, call it what you want. However, the message is clear; I will do ANYTHING to have you in my life, you don’t have to do much, just be! But that is not entirely true, because in exchange for clinging to and suffocating her man with love and affection, and as her unhappiness grows, the woman will claim more and more rights over her life, until he no longer wants to. will be able to hold with this ever again and will do anything and everything to get rid of it.

Usually her response is hysterical and very dramatic, calling him all kinds of names and trying to install all kinds of blame on his part, not realizing that she put herself in this position probably from the start. As she happily held him responsible for her happiness at first, she will hold him responsible for her misery, when he tries to back off.

Very often such women jump from one failed relationship directly to another, without time for themselves, without analyzing what went wrong, what they want, what they don’t want.

There is only one simple solution that is not easy for those of us who suffer from this syndrome; to look as objectively as possible at the consequences when we put ourselves in situations like that, to detect what emotional gap we are trying to fill.

Emotional analysis usually automatically brings solutions, which we can start to implement. If you had few relationships that ended with the same result, it is obvious that you are repeating a certain pattern. Only you can change it, so try to be very honest and objective with yourself. It will probably hurt and it won’t be very pleasant, but it’s for your own benefit. Even when you are lying in bed before falling asleep, try to see yourself as a separate person and re-observe your behavior. Don’t judge or justify, but watch what the person does, what he says, how you would react to that person’s actions.

It is a very sobering exercise and can be very helpful with regard to any type of relationship. It can make your next relationship what you’ve always wanted.