Some people enjoy abstract eroticism and fantasy.

Sexuality is about our motivation to explore our fantasies both during solo masturbation and foreplay with a lover. Our ability to reach orgasm ultimately depends on what happens in the brain. Male arousal tends to be automatic with a lover, so we often focus on the mechanics of sex. But the psychological aspects of sex are fundamental to reaching orgasm.

The intellectual component of responsiveness is the degree to which a person enjoys fantasies and mental arousal. All men experience some kind of sexual fantasy, even if they are just wondering what a naked woman looks like. Most men masturbate and need to use explicit fantasies to reach orgasm. Fantasy is a prerequisite of female orgasm because even receptive women are not aroused by real-world erotic stimuli like men.

How we explore sexual activity both alone and with a lover depends on having a creative imagination. As with intelligence, there is the raw potential responsiveness we are born with and then there is our motivation to use it. It is the ability to use our imagination that allows us to enjoy arousal and orgasm outside of the reproductive arena of intercourse. Some people find this easier to do than others. Due to shyness and embarrassment to talk about sexual pleasure, few people maximize their potential.

Turn-ons vary by gender and orientation. The masculine and feminine vision of what is erotic is very different. An erotically receptive person may not understand that others are not necessarily interested in fantasies. Even men who are very receptive are not necessarily interested in erotic concepts, fantasies, and depictions. They may prefer to have sex.

There is a difference between a man’s responsiveness and his enjoyment of erotic excitement. The vast majority of men focus purely on opportunities to have sex. Other men (often the more educated ones) enjoy fantasies, solo masturbation, and foreplay with a lover. A man with a creative imagination can gain liberation through masturbation alone. He may also want to spend more time enjoying sexual pleasure with a lover. This impacts his lover. Women don’t always want to engage in prolonged sexual play.

Eroticism is defined by explicit (usually visual) depictions of sexual activity or genitalia. When someone leans over, the view from behind is provocative for a man. A heterosexual man enjoys the view of an attractive woman’s buttocks. A homosexual man responds to the sight of a man’s butt. Women aren’t turned on by the same sight because they don’t have the urge to penetrate. A woman can admire a man’s clothed butt, but she has nothing to gain from getting it. A woman lacks an organ with which to penetrate.

Eroticism is defined by masculine arousals. A woman (or a man) is the center of erotic scenes seen through the eyes of a man. Women do not have arousal as such. A receptive woman uses fantasy when she masturbates alone. But there are no natural triggers like nudity, genitalia, or sexual activity that cause female arousal with a lover. Women claim to be aroused like men in part because they feel they should be. Furthermore, there are no obvious alternatives to explain how women can become aroused by a lover. In truth, women are not aroused by a lover.

If we are sexually motivated, we tend to assume that everyone responds positively to eroticism. This is far from the truth. Many people are uncomfortable with an erotic interpretation of sexuality. Perhaps the shame associated with sex and the desire to conform is too strong. Certainly the average person is not as sexually motivated as we like to think. This is certainly true for the vast majority of women, as well as many older men. There are many people who refer to sex as being sexually active when they are not. This is misleading. The most receptive people say nothing.

Our cultural background, religious beliefs, the attitudes of the society in which we live, and our own personal values ​​affect our enjoyment of the intellectual aspects of sex. Men are much more inclined to be sexually adventurous than women, but anyone can be limited by their own moral beliefs or those of a lover. Social restrictions limit men’s penchant for promiscuity. Property, marital loyalty, and family responsibilities are issues.

Many men want casual sex, but few women offer sex outside of a relationship. So a man uses pornography to substitute for the variety of sexual partners and games that he cannot easily find in real life. Pornography portrays a male view of sexual activity that is visually explicit. Women are protected from such images because a woman cannot observe a man’s performance from any position.

Even if they were turned on by pornography (which they are not), women don’t need it because sex is not a scarce resource for them. If a woman wants to have sex, she can easily get it. This is a key issue for a woman to have the opportunity to masturbate. If a woman were to engage in activities, such as masturbating or looking at pornography, a man would assume that she wants sex because, from her perspective, intercourse is the ultimate erotic act.

We know that the frequencies of nocturnal dreams show some correlation with the level of erotic response of an individual. (Alfredo Kinsey 1948)