Six tips for finding the right man

On May 27th I was excited to read a book on one of my favorite topics: Dating

I must confess that I haven’t read the book yet, so I can’t comment on it, but I can definitely comment on the topic of the talk and highlight some of the strengths. Your Guy: And that’s a good thing. “The author of the book is Andrea Syrtash. When I saw her, she was elegantly dressed, high heels, a smile that looked like something out of a Crest commercial, and a sincere glow that came from a life of happiness and success. She was quiet and really seemed the kind of person all women, no matter how young or old, could relate to.

As one of the handful of men sitting in the audience among more than 40 women, I listened intently to the story of her life.

Andrea Dating History:

Andrea is quite similar to Carrie from Sex in the City, she is an advice columnist specifically for dating and relationships, she currently lives in New York and was in a great relationship with a man for five years who seemed to have it all. She had good manners, good looks, and was doing well financially. The man she dated earlier seemed to fit everything on her checklist, and yet she knew something was missing. Logically, she told herself that this guy has it all: “Why does he make me unhappy?” Unfortunately, love isn’t logical, and love isn’t a checklist (I think it helps if you don’t know where to start), but love is having that checklist with chemistry.

The relationship eventually ended, but where he found his love was really in front of her. It was with her old friend Michael. Andrea kept talking about Michael this and Michael that, but when her friends told her in advance that she was “in love” with Michael, she completely denied it. It wasn’t until after their breakup that she realized that Michael was a wonderful man to be in a relationship with, and she wasn’t content. And Michael is not the “ideal” man. He teaches at an inner-city high school in New York City, gets his shirts dirty, and is not financially well off to the point where he can take her to Hawaii for dates Andrea has been on before. But she is really happy with him, and the more she knows about him, the more she falls in love with her.

How did she find her perfect man? Here are some tips that she offers that I thought were really good.

Tip 1: Dating someone is hard work. learn to take breaks

Andrea stated in her talk that dating requires resilience. It is hard work. But when I asked her the question about women approaching men and how often they should do it, she told me that the best thing in dating is to watch out for date fatigue. Going out and starting conversations with men is good, but don’t do it to the point of exhaustion.

This includes browsing profiles day after day, or going to too many events. If you suffer from date fatigue, don’t give up, just take a little vacation away from dating and then when you’re energized again, come back and do your best.

Tip 2: Don’t get involved with someone because you feel guilty.

This means not dating a man because you feel like you’re getting old and this is the best thing to do or you feel like because he has everything on a checklist that you’ve ever wanted that you need to somehow force yourself to love him. Andrea has done it and she does not recommend it.

Tip 3: Relationships must be a lot of hard work. But deciding if you should be with someone, it shouldn’t be.

This is the only message that shook my inner core. The reason I love my girlfriend (and sometimes I don’t) is because our relationship is hard work at times. Trying to carve out our future, figuring out what pisses us off, and even debating how children should be raised hasn’t been easy for us, but I wouldn’t give that up for the world. Deciding to be with her… well, that’s a piece of cake.

Tip 4: Try different things.

You may have a stigma about internet dating, using a matchmaker, or having a dating coach (like me) to help you find love. You may find some methods that you find disgusting, but there is no denying that all of those methods work for people. And you can’t keep doing the same things all the time. Do you always make excuses when you find love in different ways?

Tip 5: Be very clear about what you really need in a relationship.

Get Super Clear. He used the example that one of his clients wanted to go out with a blond boy with blue eyes, and they were essential. When she was carefully asked if she really needed that in a man, she said no, saying that what she needed in a man was a loving and trustworthy person.

Andrew also suggested as an exercise to write down 5 things the guy must have, and 5 things that absolutely turn you off. And he’s only allowed 5 shutdowns so he can be very clear about what he doesn’t want.

Tip 6: Don’t get obsessed with dating only specific guys.

Andrea was talking about how one of her clients was being mentored by a 600 pound comedian. She called him every day for advice, and she soon felt that he was falling in love. Ella Andrea told him that she should wait to see him in person before jumping to conclusions. She flew up, saw him, they kissed and it was the most amazing kiss she had ever had. Now they are both successful comedians and travelers, and after they started dating, he has lost 300 pounds to date. He goes out and tries to date other people that you may not have considered because you never know.