I still love the man who has left me for another woman – what’s wrong with me?

I often hear from women who are somewhat embarrassed by the fact that they are still in love with the husband who has not only betrayed them, but has also momentarily chosen the other woman over them. This often makes the wife very angry with herself and wonder how she can be foolish enough to yearn for a man she has repeatedly proven she is not worthy of that same love.

You might hear a comment like, “My husband told me he was having an affair with someone who had become very important to him. At first, I guess I didn’t understand how serious this really was. I guess I just assumed he would end the relationship.” so that we could save our marriage. But I soon realized that this was a rash assumption on my part. A few weeks after his confession, my husband told me that he was having trouble deciding between the two of us. He really couldn’t believe this. I’ve been with my husband for ten years. We have so much history together. He’s only known this other woman for six months. I can’t imagine his life without her. Two weeks ago, he told me he’d decided he wanted to be with her. her and that he had plans to move in the future. I know he should be mad about this. I know I should kick him out and tell him not to come back, but instead I find myself begging him to. tay Still I love him. I don’t want to give him up. I am so ashamed of my behavior. I’m a strong woman. I’d be fine on my own. But I don’t want to give up this man or my marriage. And this is true even though he has betrayed me and made it clear to me that he no longer loves me and that he has chosen a young woman he barely knows over me. What is wrong with me? Why would I continue to love or want a man like that?”

I really felt sorry for this wife. She was being so hard on herself and none of this was her fault. What she was having was a very normal and very understandable reaction. She had been with this man for ten years. It’s unrealistic to think that you’re going to stop loving that man the second he makes a mistake or the second you feel rejected.

And honestly, I find that most people will initially want to see if they can save their marriage before making the decision to end that long-term relationship. So when you are denied this process, it is normal to feel like you have been cheated twice. It’s totally natural to want to fight when something you love so much has been taken from you. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you. Or that you have low self-esteem. Or that you have a habit of letting people walk all over you or take advantage of you. It means that you do not want to give up something that is so important to you so easily and this is understandable. That said, you don’t want to put yourself in a situation where you’re not considering your own best interest and health. So with that in mind, I’ll now offer some advice on how you can balance the fact that you still love him with your own self-care.

You don’t have to give it up entirely if you take a break to assess what’s best for you: I have to warn you that sometimes when you find yourself in a situation like this, your emotions can get the best of you. And you can get caught up in the drama of this. Frankly, if he has made the decision to be with her, there is often little you can do about it in the short term. Usually he will have to let her realize on her own that she has made a mistake. You don’t want to disrespect yourself by continuing to approach him when he hasn’t been respectful to you.

And sometimes giving this process a break will really improve it. Many wives find that when they move away, their husband eventually becomes interested again. My suggestion would be to give this situation a short break. Focus on yourself. Take good care of your own needs and put yourself first. Surround yourself with people who support you and love you. None of this means that you have to stop loving him, but it may mean that you don’t love the situation and, as a result, you’re going to focus on yourself.

Your husband might ask why you have changed your mind. It’s really up to you if you want to answer this question, but if you do, you might consider telling him that you’ve made your wishes clear and it’s clear that at this point, your best course of action is to work on yourself and your own healing. Always keep your dignity and grace. That way, when the adventure is over (as it often is), you’ll know you have nothing to be ashamed of. And you’ll know that your behavior was something you can be proud of even if your husband can’t say the same.

Many people ask me when or if they will stop loving their husband. The answer will generally depend on how this situation develops. Some husbands end the affair and return to their marriages. And some don’t. What I think is important here is to love yourself as much as you love him and then act accordingly. If he’s with someone else right now, you can’t act on that love in a healthy way anyway. So he works on yourself and your own healing first and then waits to see what happens to the rest.