How to Find a Girlfriend at 30: 5 Action Steps

Alright, you’ve hit 30 grand, right? Maybe you are fast approaching 40 and want to know how to find a girlfriend in your 30s.

I have good news for you. Not only is it possible, but you’ll likely increase your chances of doing so by following the 5 tips below that most men overlook. 90% of the men in the world don’t follow this advice, based on what I hear on the dating radio show I co-host.

ONE: Understand what kind of woman you SHOULD be looking for

Many men go from one attractive woman to another attractive woman without knowing what the person inside is like. If you’re in your 30s looking for love, chances are you’ve had one or more experiences with a serious relationship. You may have even been married before. Most guys in their 30s have these things in their past, but they don’t understand why things blew up because they didn’t treat the right girl right (more on that later) or chose the wrong woman to begin with ( which happens a lot).

You should look for a woman with a flexible personality who is generous and self-sufficient. Structured or stubborn women with self-esteem issues and excess baggage may be a thing of the past for you if you follow my advice, because all women EXCEPT the self-sufficient do not respond well to the advice I give in this article. (especially mystery and challenge, discussed later).

Many men overvalue their appearance and do not look at what is inside. Women who are just “pretty” physically can become beautiful to you if they have a great personality. On the other hand, women who look like magazine models can become “ugly” if they are mercenary or structured.

TWO: It’s all about YOUR level of interest

No one talks about the woman’s level of interest! How does she feel about you? Most men are attracted to a woman and CHARGE because the male ego falsely tells you “if I like her, she must like me too.”

Men have to learn NOT to rush into rejection. You have to keep a constant check on whether she is interested in you or not. Does she laugh at your jokes? Is it easy to get a date with her? Do you feel like you are the absolute center of the action when you are with her? You have to constantly look for signs that her interest level is going up or down because you are a STRANGE for each other until you get to 2 months or 10 dates.

Yes, you heard right. You two are STRANGE until you hit the 2 month or 10 date mark. I’m always surprised when guys call our show or write emails saying they “know the girl” even though they’ve only been on 3 dates with her.

You need TIME with a woman, but unfortunately, most men ARE PRECISE TO REJECTION.

THREE: Treat the Right Girl Right

Lots of guys can make women fall in love. I bet you’ve had women crush on you before. Did they fall in love? Many guys “chill out and change” once the relationship is secure. The same fun guy who took her dancing and cool weekend destinations now plays poker with the guys at their old date nights and asks him to serve her friends sandwiches.

Let me break it down for you. She is not your best friend nor is she your loyal dog. Your best friend and loyal dog will forgive you for having times when you don’t treat them as you know you should.

Your lady, on the other hand, will lower her interest level until you are OUT.

Another thing guys do is start making their mom or the psychiatrist get more serious with her. We’ll discuss this in the next tip, but women like to keep it light and fun. I know there will be serious issues as you move into a more meaningful relationship, but there’s no reason you have to be serious all the time. Get the serious stuff sorted out and move on.

Remember, she likes things light and fun. The guys who make her a mom or the psychiatrist put her in a position she doesn’t want to be in, plus she can’t perceive you as a man to fall in love with if she continually complains.

FOUR: The light and fun gentleman is what she wants.

What do most women want from relationships? They want to laugh. They want to have a fun time on a date or when they are around you. They also want a REAL MAN who isn’t afraid to say no if he thinks he’s right.

Knights are also a mystery and a challenge for women. They don’t talk about going on another date when they’re on one with her, they don’t give excessive compliments, they don’t give gifts as an attempt to buy her affection, and she continually wonders (in the early stages) if he’s seeing other women.

The gentleman has the “I don’t need you, you need me” attitude towards women that shows in his actions and reactions towards her.

FIVE: Keep in mind that dating is like selling and you should only look for “hot” leads.

Of all the women I talk to, only a few will be long-term candidates. You have to kiss a lot of frogs, so to speak. We tell guys on the show all the time that “women help you when they like you.”

This would seem obvious, but for many guys it is not.

I can’t tell you how many men I see handing out their business cards or continually asking a woman out on a date after they’ve been turned down.

Simply approach the lady you love like a gentleman and ask for her number after establishing a little rapport. If she gets anything other than digits right away, walk away and go to the next clue.

If you get her number, then you have another 2 months or 10 dates to determine if YOU want HER to be YOUR girlfriend.

If you are wondering how to find a girlfriend in your 30s, these 5 tips will definitely help you.

Remember guys, you have to find the right one and then treat it right!