How do children view divorce and the pain behind it?

No child should have to see their divorced parents and live with the consequences. That is why many of the problems that cause it are hidden from them. They may not know how the violence begins or why the arguments are so persistent. Likewise, they may never realize the pain one or both parents are going through. Only when it happens in front of them will they know of the physical and verbal abuse that occurs.

Is it wrong, therefore, to protect children from these things? Wouldn’t it be better to know them so that you can form a judgment for themselves? On the other hand, do parents keep these things to themselves for fear that a child will talk about it with others?

Even that doesn’t seem like a logical explanation. Surely a child has the right to know what is causing the disintegration of his home. Are they not interested in being able to decide who is right or who is not?

After going through a divorce and working overtime to keep my reasons, I deprived my children of their right to know. However, things come up in her later years, and it will be the mother who is to blame for the bad things that happened in the past. The father is also likely to downplay the mother and cause a rift between her and the children to get revenge on her for leaving him.

In Australia, in recent years, we have seen parents do some outrageous acts of revenge of this nature. A man threw his five-year-old daughter over a bridge in Melbourne on his way to return his children to their mother after a weekend visit. It must have been the girl’s first day of school.

Another father drove a car with his three children to a lake and killed them while taking them back to their mother. Then he called her and told her that the children were dead.

Over and over again the horrors of divorce and revenge are played out. A loving father will always be by the side of his offspring and will protect them. But there are some things that you don’t need protection from. In my opinion, the reasons for divorce and separation from home is one of them.

Maybe if I had never had the experience of that and had not had an adult son accusing me of not loving him enough because he had a bad haircut in a school photo, this would not bother me. But he does so because now there is no way for him to see my point of view or know the immense burden that was placed on me at that time. Maybe one day he will understand.