Death is the inevitable goal of our lives: my father and I

We are all afraid of death. Death means the loss of our memories of a lifetime, sweet and bitter. Death scares us as we will enter unknown territory, after losing our sensual assets and relationships. We all have to die, but invariably everyone thinks that they will live to a ripe old age. God may have different plans, and some of us leave the world early. If we are willing to accept our death as an integral part of our existence, we will have greater harmony and peace in life, since it exercises control over all evils and sensual desires.

1989

1. My father, who was 67 years old at the time, said: “I’m getting old! Let me trust you. 30 years of my life have been around two dams, where I worked: Bhakra Dam and Pong Dam. It may be our last meeting! One he is never sure of life. My wish is that my ashes be scattered over these dams.”

* I assured him, “Relax, daddy. It will be done.”

2016

2. He is 94 years old, he still demands breakfast from our mother, now 88; she who serves him with devotion and love, after 74 years of marriage. Now, I’m 70 years old, it’s my turn to speak with my sounds.

* I am ready for His call; I only have one request for Him: “Let me die after my parents, since at this juncture in their lives, it will be too painful to bear the loss of their son.”

* The late Khuswant Singh, a noted author, who lived to be 99, said: “I think if a person dies after the age of 70, we should send them off happily, singing and dancing, without the usual condolences.”

* I admire the late Jyoti Basu, who served as the Chief Minister of India’s Bengal state for 21 years, for donating his body to a medical college to be studied by budding doctors, and any usable organs to people in need. Today’s rituals are cumbersome and are imposed by religious compulsions. I would like to follow in the footsteps of Jyoti Basu, subject to the approval of my spouse and children.

return to my father

An ordinary man, who loved his family – we all do – and lived for his family. A devoted employee: a civil engineering degree from the oldest polytechnic in Rasul, Punjab, now in Pakistan, and a full degree from distance learning.

* He was and still is: an extreme case of honesty, dedicated to his profession, dedicated to teaching his children, and lived a frugal life with two half shirts and pants, washed and ironed every other day. He cared for his sisters ‘not very well to do’, within his means. He is an imperfect man, like all of us: unable to control anger, attached to his late mother, siblings and family, he lived a selfless life and sacrificed his sensual desires, aside from good home-cooked food and fruits, due to the financial limitations.

We don’t know how much time we have!

His life journey has taken him from Chaklala, now in Pakistan, India, Iraq and now Corona, California; where he is happily confined to a room due to knee osteoarthritis, placed with a catheter due to urinary obstruction, and slightly affected by dementia, in which, at times, he says: “Who is the lady who sleeps here? It tickled me at night !”

Thank God for our parents.