9 Signs Emotional Intimacy Is Suffering In A Marriage

Marriage quickly deteriorates into a dull, cold, and lonely existence for one or both spouses when the couple loses emotional intimacy in the marriage. The emotional connection of couples has diminished so much nowadays that husbands and/or wives become unhappy in the marriage. Then the marriage can become silent, angry, or resentful. This is where extramarital affairs can begin or when divorces occur. When the emotional connection, also known as emotional intimacy, deteriorates, the consequences are detrimental to the marriage.

Often, couples who lack healthy emotional intimacy don’t understand the problem, but realize that something is wrong with their marriage. By the way, their love seems to be breaking. In addition, it is evident that the marriage has lost the spark and the desires. Often, it is one spouse who lacks emotional intimacy, while the other spouse is happy with their marital relationship and communication as it is.

The perfectly satisfied spouse does not feel that there is anything wrong with the marriage while their partner suffers in silence. So if the marriage fails, the contented spouse has no idea what went wrong. Unfortunately, the emotionally neglected spouse continually suffers because his needs for emotional intimacy are not being met by his partner. This is hard to explain to a spouse who doesn’t require the same degree of emotional intimacy or who doesn’t recognize that their marriage is in trouble.

It seems that husbands and wives have emotionally distanced themselves as a “one” unit due to an abundance of responsibilities, financial obligations, or pursuing their own agendas. From this break in emotional intimacy, desires eventually fade, love dies, and a dead, boring, and loveless marriage evolves. It is when emotional intimacy is absent that resentments develop, anger progresses, and loneliness sets in. Depression and low self-esteem are also very common in an unhappy marriage.

Over time, emotional intimacy breaks down when each spouse’s responsibilities take precedence over their spouse’s needs and their marital happiness. Couples are no longer on the same page working to keep their intimacy exciting. Instead, they are moving in opposite directions and doing their own thing. Legitimate or not, unfortunately, this movement in opposite directions creates barriers between the couple. Unfortunately, the couple separates.

Although husband and wife live under the same roof, sleep in the same bed, and keep their betrothal, boredom and loss of desire often take over all feelings of attraction for each other. Unnecessarily, neglected emotional intimacy in marriage has damaged a couple’s ability to maintain intimacy on all levels. At this point, it seems like all marriage does is exist on a daily basis. Unfortunately, when emotional intimacy is neglected or not recognized as problematic, the couple becomes dissatisfied and miserable in the marriage. Many times this happens to the relationship before the couple realizes what is happening. Regardless, one or both spouses may begin to look for alternatives to bring happiness into their lives.

Perhaps you have heard a close friend or family member confess… I feel alone in my marriage. What this person is saying is that I hurt, I feel lonely, I feel depressed, I feel angry, I feel resentful towards my spouse. This is just a small list of feelings that can occur if emotional intimacy is lacking in a marriage.

An example of damaged emotional intimacy is a spouse who is, or appears to be, emotionally absent. For example, when you talk to your spouse and they don’t listen to you, much less respond to you, a partner will feel abandoned and insignificant. A spouse who repeatedly becomes absorbed in their personal responsibilities, interests, and hobbies may turn a deaf ear and show a lack of interest. Even though the self-absorbed spouse is not intentionally trying to hurt his partner, he is hurting himself. Due to repeated damage, the communicating spouse feels ignored and unimportant. Often, an emotionally neglected spouse will become a silent and wounded partner. Then the barriers between the couple will get higher and the hurt partner is likely to withdraw. Then, day by day, the couple will grow further apart.

Another rather shocking and seemingly trivial example that falls under “emotional intimacy suffering” is not taking the trash to your partner. You may wonder how junk details are neglecting emotional intimacy, but it’s especially so if homework is a high priority for your spouse. Regardless of how ridiculous or petty this task may seem, it can weigh heavily on your spouse’s emotions. They may interrupt you for lack of participation, disinterest, not sharing responsibilities or carelessness. If this chore is very important to your partner and you don’t help with the chore, anger and resentment can show up. Then, whenever you neglect the junk details, this anger and resentment quickly resurfaces. From suppressed anger and emotional feelings, a disconnect can occur and cause serious damage over time.

Once a couple becomes emotionally disconnected, their sex lives will quickly feel the ill effects as well. It is virtually impossible to unite sexually when there is diminished emotional intimacy in the marriage. Couples become sexless or virtually sexless marriages due to damaged emotional intimacy. It is almost impossible to keep sexual desires and arousal alive when emotional intimacy is not fulfilled first. You have to correctly balance the emotional intimacy side to reap the sexual intimacy side of the equation in a marriage.

9 signs that emotional intimacy is suffering in a marriage:

1. Couples have stopped talking and sharing their daily events and happenings. Communication has diminished and silence has developed.

2. Couples have stopped touching and feeling with authentic desire. There is little to no intimate interaction between the couple to keep the passion alive.

3. Husbands and wives have stopped kissing intensely. Giving quick kisses to the spouse has taken over kissing with passion, love and feelings.

4. The mutual desire and fire of couples has deteriorated. Instead, couples become disconnected and loveless marriages due to a dead sexual interest.

5. Spouses do not listen to their partner. When a spouse is not listening, the frustrated sighs, depression, and body language will certainly kick in for the absent spouse. These few signs are evidence of unhappiness and emotional pain.

6. Husbands and wives feel that their own responsibilities are greater than the responsibilities of their partners. As a result, one of the spouses feels unappreciated.

7. Husband and wife get together independently to attend the same functions instead of taking a few extra minutes to meet in their driveway and travel together as a couple.

8. Husbands and wives do not dine together as a family unit. Instead, couples dine on the run or eat in front of the TV, where staying connected is impossible.

9. Husbands and wives are emotionally damaging their marital relationship by cursing and calling their partner vulgar names. As a result, husbands and/or wives experience anger, unhappiness, low self-esteem, or depression due to this form of harmful behavior.

These are just a few examples of the breakdown of emotional intimacy in a marriage, but the list goes on and on. It’s the stressors of money, bills, work, and parenting that quickly deteriorate the connection between a man and his wife. When emotional intimacy wanes, marriages become cold, distant, and sexual desire diminishes.

Without a healthy bond of emotional intimacy between husbands and wives, a marriage can become a constant state of misery and unhappiness. Until spouses understand how important it is to stay emotionally connected, and then work to coddle each other’s emotions, unhappiness will remain, divorces will occur, extramarital affairs will continue, and loveless and dead marriages will exist.

When emotional intimacy is suffering in a marriage, sexual desires will fade and spontaneity will certainly die. Then, a couple’s sexual encounters will become distant, cold, and rushed. Sexual intercourse carried out in this way is not passionate lovemaking for your partner. This is simply carrying out sex as a chore instead of exchanging love and desire for each other.

Aroused passion and sexual desire will die for each other if you don’t make an extra effort to keep your emotional intimacy alive and well. Sexual intimacy feeds into emotional intimacy in the relationship. Today, if you begin to correct the emotional intimacy side of your relationship, your entire marital relationship will improve. Then your sexual relationship will surely come alive as well.

You have the ability to rediscover the once burning desire and passion for each other if you take the first step to make a difference. However, you cannot work on emotional intimacy for one day and expect lasting change, you must work every day from this day forward. You must feed your relationship every day so it doesn’t starve.

Why stay in a loveless or sexless marriage when a few changes can save your marriage and renew your desire for each other? Then they can live their life together in happiness and sexual satisfaction.