4 Ways to Stop Being a Heartbroken Zombie – wikiHow

Almost everyone who has been through a relationship breakup or divorce describes feeling numb for a period of time and going through the motions of life as best they could. If this sounds dramatic, it can be just as difficult and intense to experience as it sounds.

With the end of a love relationship or marriage, it can feel like life has been temporarily taken from you. You might feel like a zombie, just a shell walking around trying to get through the day.

You might even start to believe that you will be in this zombie state forever. It may seem like the grievance, shock, and heartbreak will go on endlessly.

As hard as it can be to feel like a heartbroken zombie, we’re here to tell you that you don’t have to feel like this forever, or even much longer.

There is no magic number of days, months, or years after a breakup that the pain will go away. This varies for everyone. But you can take steps to help yourself feel better faster and easier. You can stop feeling like a lifeless, numb zombie and go back to being the vibrant person you were (and still are).

Here are 4 tips to help…

#1: Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling.

Too often, people are so afraid of their own emotions after a breakup or divorce that they do everything they can to NOT feel them. The mere thought of their hurt, anger, or sadness can be overwhelming, and so they avoid, ignore, and cover up how they really feel whenever they can.

This can make the zombie breaking experience more difficult and long lasting as well.

Instead, find the courage to sit down and feel what you are feeling. No one likes to experience difficult emotions, but the best way to release them is to let them come up and out. In fact, the more willing you are to feel what you feel, the more your difficult emotions will release to you.

Get creative and write, paint, sing or dance your feelings. Experiment with different ways of expressing your emotions and stick with what seems most helpful to you.

#2: Remember to look up your bread.

It’s very important to cry, yell, rage, and even feel afraid, if that’s what’s real to you right now. Be sure to let your emotions out in a way that doesn’t hurt yourself or others.

Often there are points where an intense emotion eases up a bit; by the way, this is usually when you have allowed it to arise and come out. When you are in a quieter place, deliberately look around you.

Realize what is happening in your life. What is going on with your friends and family and your world? Make the decision to broaden your vision and offer your attention to all the other things going on around you as you go through this difficult time.

Just by checking in with the rest of the world, you can start to become more involved with your extended life and not be so focused on the breakup.

#3: Give yourself the support you really need.

Often a person who has been through a breakup will feel overwhelmed by all the changes that are taking place. The zombie mode that can be established is often related to feeling unable to handle potentially new responsibilities and painful choices, as well as intense emotions.

When you reach out to supportive people and resources in your life, it can help you come out of zombie mode and start living more fully.

Be clear and specific with those who offer to support you. Ask for what you need in the most precise terms you can know. Then make sure you allow yourself to fully receive what is given to you.

#4: Start creating your desired future.

When you’re ready, you can also give yourself permission to think about the kind of future you want for yourself. Thinking about a future that doesn’t involve your ex might not be something that appeals to you right now, and that’s okay. Be patient with yourself.

Continue to allow your emotions, remind yourself of what is happening right now in your expanded life, and receive support. All of these are very important for your healing and these strategies can also help you get out of zombie mode.

At a certain point, you may find yourself thinking about the next month, the next year, or the next 5 years. You may even be excited about some goal or aspiration that has occurred to you. When this happens, go with him. Allow yourself to dream of what lies ahead, and then start taking steps in that direction.