Script 101: When an Item Doesn’t Pay Off or Doesn’t Kick a Dead Horse

I had two great article ideas this morning. They usually come to me in bed but they are not always great ideas. My not-so-great article ideas were:

1. The Incredible Ted Turner

2. Brilliant Hollywood actresses

I researched the first one and then realized what I already knew: rich people are usually boring. So even though Ted Turner has a lot of buffalo and he wants you to eat them at one of his new restaurants (his latest adventure), he once won a boat race and gave a billion dollars to the UN, no one cares. matter. This despite the fact that he saved many old movies for us to watch for free.

My second not-so-good idea resulted in the following conclusion: nobody cares about the smart actresses in Hollywood, they only care about the vain and stupid ones. Goldie Hahn is a smart businesswoman like Lucille Ball was, but nobody cares about her business acumen. Goldie is aging gracefully and Lucille is gone from our world. They are not at the top of the 100 keywords list. These women are: Jenna Jameson, Antonella Barba, Paris Hilton, Lil Wayne, Fergie, Britney Spears, Carmen Electra, Pamela Anderson, Anna Nicole Smith, Avril Lavigne, Jessica Alba, Jessica Simpson, Salma Hayek, Angelina Jolie.

I checked to see if Avril Lavigne was actually a woman. She is and she sings. Angelina barely made the list, she being number 100. She loves to appear raw in movies and she has really nice legs. I think her famous lips are too much. She adopts orphans in her spare time.

Don’t ask me how Fergie keeps making the list. The English are BORRRRRRIIIINNNNGGGG!

when your ideas BOMBRUN!

As we say here in Idaho: Don’t kick a dead horse! I’ve kicked this enough.

How to find new ideas

If you can’t find a new idea worthy of your pen (or keyboard), you can consider an old idea. But new ideas are not that hard to find. Looking at our daily rag a moment ago, I came up with the following possible article titles:

Don’t feed your pets pet food – the danger of poisoning is real/try table scraps

How are former government officials rewarded for becoming lobbyists for Guess Who?

The troops will be home in ’08: 2108!

BASE Jumper Spring Jumps – They are just falling in on themselves

Idaho Governor Vetoes Bill: Otter Likes Teens Smoking While Bowling

March Madness: Survival of the Fittest and the Lucky

Magazines and TV news shows can give rise to some good ideas. Or just go out and see what’s going on.

You can also go to ezine article sites and see what others are writing. Or stop by Amazon.com and put a keyword in the subject box. Or go to Google–oh, you have it!

Wow, there! Sometimes just by changing a title you can generate a good idea from a bad idea. Here are some ideas:

Old Title: Brittany Spears, A Brilliant American Icon

New Title: Brittany Spears Flunked Out of Kindergarten

Old Title: Jay Leno’s Early Childhood in Boston

New Title: Jay Leno Steals Ideas From Letterman – Watch Letterman Every Night

Old Title: The Napoleonic Wars

New Title: How Rye Bread Got Its Name: Napoleon fed bread to horses in front of troops.

Old title: Are Amazing Universe

New title: Our galaxy is devouring other worlds like ours: some end up in the black hole of our galaxy

Well, don’t just sit there staring at the screen. Writers write well, right?

The end