Personal Core Values

Each of us has their own set of values. These are the ones that determine which aspects of life we ​​consider important or beneficial. Our values ​​help determine our tastes, our way of life, our entertainment, our social, political and religious interactions. Each of us has many values, and these values ​​can change as we grow, reach different stages of life, or have different experiences or influences in life. Some of the values ​​we hold may be ‘superficial’, transitory or adjusted only to the moment in which we find ourselves. Other values ​​are more fixed and can stay with us throughout our lives; these are our ‘core values’.

Our values ​​come from a variety of sources. Our parents are a key influence on our values ​​as we grow as children. So is any church or religious background we experience. Our society, our neighbors, friends and colleagues can also influence our values. So can our teachers and our education.

School can often be a place of conflict because it is there that we experience other values ​​perhaps for the first time. Some of the values ​​we experience at school may conflict with or contradict the values ​​of our parents. As we progress through high school, we begin to experience values ​​in ourselves and in our peers that conflict with both the school and our parents. Conflicting and unfixed values ​​can be a major problem for adolescence and adolescence.

As we grow in years and experience, our values ​​become more fixed, especially a set of 6-10 ‘core’ values. It is these core values ​​that determine what is truly important to us as individuals. The surprising thing is that if you ask most people what their values ​​are, many of them wouldn’t know how to give you an answer.

Many people lead lives disconnected from their core values. This can lead to a lifetime of unhappiness, discontent, and lack of fulfillment. Sometimes it can lead to a conflict. Often the person does not know why her life seems unhappy, unfulfilled, and sometimes full of conflicts. Often the cause is that the life they lead is not in accordance with their personal values.

For some people a conflict can arise within them because they are trying to live a life according to the values ​​of a company, an organization, a religious or political organization, the values ​​of their friends or colleagues or partner, instead of living a life in accordance with their own core values. By doing this, the values ​​of other people or organizations are being fulfilled, but the person’s own values ​​are being left unfulfilled.

This does not mean that a person is always wrong to seek to support and fulfill the values ​​of other people or organizations. However, leaving one’s values ​​unfulfilled can lead to frustration and unhappiness. However, a key issue in this is that the person may believe that he is doing the right thing by working according to the values ​​of others and still feel a sense of frustration and dissatisfaction; -The reason is that they may be unaware of their own values ​​or perhaps feel guilty about their own values ​​when they conflict with the values ​​of others.

So if you feel that your life is unfulfilled, unhappy, or perhaps too conflicted, then it could be that you are leading a life that is not in line with your core values. The question is; Do you know your own personal core values?

Hiring a personal life coach can certainly help you discover your personal values, but for those who want to start the discovery for themselves, try answering the following question;

What, in life, is important to you?

Don’t think about your answers (yes, there’s probably more than one thing that’s important to you), at least don’t think about them at first. He just writes whatever comes into his head, no matter how weird, funny, or worrying it may seem. These first responses are probably your ‘gut’ or ‘intuitive’ responses; sometimes these are closer to the truth than the answers you ‘think’ of. Next, think about what is important in life to you. Take some time to consider your answers before writing them down in one word or short phrase. Don’t worry if some of the same answers appear on your first list; – Just write them again.

You now have two lists. Look at them; Is there something there that surprises you or something that worries you? Sometimes people can be quite surprised by what they write, and sometimes they might write something that surprises them or makes them feel guilty about it.

Pretty common words that people put on their value list include; ‘money’, ‘success’, ‘family’, ‘wife/husband/partner’, ‘growth’, ‘power’. If you find one or more of these words on your list, ask yourself another question;

What does (the word) mean to me?

So you may ask yourself, ‘what does money mean to me?’ To which the answer could be; money means security, or money means success, or money means freedom, or money means being able to support my family.

By answering the second question, you can help uncover real or underlying value to you. So for you, money is not the real value, it’s ‘security’ or ‘being successful’ or ‘being independent’ or ‘being able to support my family’ that’s the real value.

So by doing these simple exercises, you are beginning to discover your personal core values. The next exercise is to ask yourself ‘how do my life, work and relationships help fulfill my personal values?’ If you find that they don’t help you to live up to your personal values ​​then perhaps you should consider changing your life. To do that; Get a life coach.