Avoiding abuse: the characteristics of controlling men to consider from the beginning

A good relationship is made up of 2 people navigating life hand in hand and subtly influencing each other through life’s problems. A controlling and abusive partner, on the other hand, is one who wants to go ALL the way for the two of you…and regularly bullies you so you can give him your power and allow him to do what he sees fit. So before you get emotionally deep with a controlling prankster, what distinguishing traits should you look for? What are the characteristics of controlling men to consider at the beginning of the relationship to avoid abuse?

one. Extreme fluctuations in their emotions towards you. This man blows hot and cold in confusing sequences. One minute he loves you and he can’t get enough of you and the next he wants you to leave him alone! He confuses you because his behavior doesn’t seem to be based on anything you’ve done or anything you can identify. You could be trying to do him good, and instead of being grateful, he bites your head off and orders you to get as far away from him as possible. If you are prone to tears, then this man will make you cry a lot of tears and you will stay because when he is in the love phase… then he treats you so well that you think the irrational rejection side of him will never come. back. You have never felt so loved and so confused at the same time. He seems to love you very much, but his unprovoked anger from him confuses and scares you. You want to believe that his love for you will conquer his irrational rejection of you, right? But you should run away from this man. Avoiding abuse requires that you leave this man because this is a clear sign of controlling men. He may love you, but his kind of love will cause you more heartbreak and tears than you can imagine… run and don’t give him a second thought unless you enjoy perpetual and endless pain.

two. You can’t do anything right and you need me to survive. This man’s abuse is trained as words of advice. He believes that he ALWAYS knows best what to do in every situation in your life. He doesn’t really listen to you and even when he appears to be listening, he will navigate the conversation back to his point of view after criticizing your opinion or just ignoring it. He dismisses your emotional comments as invalid or something that shouldn’t concern you or isn’t really that serious. Over time you stop talking to him about things that worry you just to avoid ‘his solutions for him’ or not caring about how you feel. You start to feel suffocated in the relationship and if you were honest with yourself, you would confess to yourself that you are not happy. A clear sign of controlling men who want to control how you think and feel about everything. These types of controlling men start by eroding the value you have of your opinions and emotions so that over time it makes you think and feel “his way”. Avoiding abuse requires that you leave this prankster before he completely wipes out your self-esteem and self-worth…which is what he’s doing right now.

3. Endless broken promises. This variety of abuse is run as an emotional con game. He seems to be on your side when you are planning events or activities and promises to be there for you, but never follows through on those promises. When he misses the event, his promise will be… I’ll be there for you next time… I promise… but he’ll never keep it. It’s like a mirage in a desert oasis…it promises with such conviction and concern, but it’s never available. It is an emotional drain for you, as your hopes rise and fall regularly. A sign of emotionally abusive men controlling you by promising their presence and then hiding it from you. His promises are warm and sound very genuine BUT he never keeps them. You are emotionally drained and not sure what to trust with him… you need to leave to avoid the abuse. This is a controlling man who will keep you in a perpetually fluctuating but mostly unhappy state.

Four. He refuses to face reality. This man will never admit that something is wrong in the relationship, even when it is obvious to everyone else. He sees relationship problems as a sign of your lack of love or trust for him, so the problems are never resolved. You can never discuss your relationship problems with him, as he believes that any admission of problems on your part is criticism of him personally. Nothing is discussed in his relationship to avoid upsetting him. You have learned to live with problems in the relationship in order to keep the peace. Avoiding abuse means leaving this controlling man, as he will cripple you emotionally.

Avoiding abuse is a gift you give yourself. Life is not a practice run so you can allow a guy to abuse you. It is the real thing and you need to live as fully, happily and fulfilled as possible.

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